Mike Dojc

SPORTS

2/16/2006

That's your first sign/Get out the way, yo

Artist: Reggie Swinton, Houston Texans kick return specialist.
Album: Whatcha Gone Do? (501Records, 2003)
Style/inspired: A pair of deuces: 2Pac and Too Short.
Signature lyric: See them numbers on my back? That's your first sign/Get out the way, yo, Reggie Swinton's too fast/Quicker than a bullet or a lightin' flash."
Scouting report: “Whatcha gone do? The answer I came up with after an hour of listening: pack my bleedin' ears with gauze” – Dallas Observer
Final Score: 4 out of 10

Artist: Bronson Arroyo, Red Sox starting pitcher.
Album: Covering the Bases (Asylum Records, 2005)
Style/Inspired by: Eddie Vedder, Chris Cornell, Kurt Cobain and every other broody baritone who wore plaid in the 90s.
Signature lyric: “And I wonder if everything could ever feel this real forever,” –covering Everlong by the Foo Fighters.
Scouting Report: “He rocks soulfully on the album, especially on Pearl Jam's ''Black" and Stone Temple Pilots' ''Plush," which he learned as a 15-year-old kid. Arroyo is grown up now, but he still has the spirit of a teenager on these well-produced, finely executed tracks.” –Boston Globe
Final Score 6 out of 10

Artist: John Cena, WWE Champion
Album: You Can’t See Me
Style/Inspired by: Smacks of early Everlast, EPMD and Eminem chin music.
Signature Lyric: “Lay yo' ass down for the three second tan” –The Time is Now
Scouting Report: Even with his goofy in-ring hip-hop persona, he's strictly an undercard performer who can't scribble up better rhymes than those of the "we're Bentleys and you're a beat-up Chrysler" variety. –Billboard
Final Score 5 out of 10